.:You Know You're An Autobot Medic When:.

o You believe that all fluid leaks stop... eventually.

o You find humour in other's stupidity.

o You believe that 90% of your patients are a poor excuse for a protoform.

o Discussing dismemberment over a few rounds of high grade seems perfectly normal to you.

o Your idea of a good time is a full system crash at shift change.

o You believe in aerial spraying of tranquillisers.

o You disbelieve 90% of what you are told and 75% of what you see.

o You have your time off planned for a year in advance.

o You encourage an obnoxious patient to sign a self-discharge form so you don't have to deal with them any longer.

o You believe that the commanders should require a permit from the High Council to do anything more dangerous than scratch their afts.

o You believe that unspeakable evils will befall anyone who utters the phrase "Wow, it's really quiet isn't it?"

o You threaten to strangle anyone who even starts to say the aforementioned "Q" word when it is even remotely calm.

o You have ever referred to someone's death as a transfer to the "Eternal Care Unit".

o You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled  "Suicide ... Doing It Right."

o You feel that most suicide attempts should be given free access to the weapons storage facilities.

o You have ever had a patient look you straight in the optics and say "I have no idea how that got stuck in there."

o You have ever had to leave a patient's cubicle before you begin to laugh uncontrollably.

o Your favourite hallucinogen is exhaustion.

o You think that stimulants should be available in I/V form.

o You have ever restrained someone and it was not an erotic experience.

o You believe the waiting room should be equipped with a tranq. fountain.

o You want the lab to perform a "dumb as shit profile" on the latest ‘specimen’ to require your attentions.

o Your most common assessment question is: "What the hell did you think you were doing!?"

o You have ever had a patient control his seizures when offered ‘therapy’.

o You believe a book entitled  'Suicide: Getting it Right the First Time' will be your next project.

o Your internal diagnostics and auto repair systems are so well developed that they’ve been known to attack the local wildlife.

o You can actually differentiate between 'incredible bravery' and 'terminal stupidity'.